(Added: I wrote this in one take, no editing, only spellcheck, so if it rambles or makes no sense in parts, i apologize in advance)
I just can't say goodbye to Zenyatta. I don't want her to leave. She has meant so much to me over her three years of racing. From her debut on Thanksgiving Day, where there were, at best, 4k in the crowd until he finale at Churchill, where more than 40x as much watched her across the nation. She kept me going during the tough times of 2008 and through the good times the last two years. She got me to do things I never would have done in the past. She dragged me onto blogs and Twitter and Facebook to see if there were others like me who loved her. She helped me become a more complete person.
I just can't say goodbye to Zenyatta. Seeing her live so many times makes one "spoiled by greatness". Her debut made a miserable Thanksgiving Day a little better. Her El Encino win made the antibiotics from the illness that I was dealing with a little more tolerable. Her BC Classic win made life a little better. Her Classic loss made being a fan of hers a little better, as she silenced many of doubters about her class and her ability. Her announced retirement made it a little easier with her losing, knowing she went out with a big effort.
I just can't say goodbye to Zenyatta. Literally. While the many of my horse racing "family" and horse fans in SoCal has gone to visit her on the backside at Hollywood Park the last month, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I can't let go, nor can I face her. My heart deals with the strain of knowing i "picked a favorite amongst my children" when I picked Blame over Zenyatta in the Classic. While I know that i made the correct decision, it still hurts me. I go today to Hollywood Park with a heavy heart, knowing she is leaving us in California one final time, never to return. I know when I look her in the eye, it will be of man who doubted her. I will see her leave and have to move on. But...
I just can't say goodbye to Zenyatta.
(Adding this video of one of my favorite groups Boyz II Men's song "Yesterday", as I think it sums up how I feel)