Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Fake Racing Movies Gone Wild

On Tuesday, a racing-based hashtag swept over Twitter with a rush. Following in the footsteps of other hashtags such as #PopSongJockeys and #PopSongHorses before it, #FakeRacingMovies flooded the Twittersphere with funny, pun-charged titles of movies. Everything from the venerable classics of multiple Academy Award winners to absolute bombs of movies that went in and out of theaters in a flash. As of this blog posting, it was just now starting to fade. Here are some of my personal favorites, with fake movie plot synopsis for each:

Fly So Free Willy - The heart-warming story of boy who helps to save a horse from being gelded in order to save his family.
Denman on Wire - This thrilling documentary about the steeplechase star Denman search for the wire against his rival Kauto Star.
The Mucho Macho Man Who Knew Too Little - In this remake, Mucho Macho Man mistakes a spy's ring tone for the call to the post and falls into an international espionage thriller.
Win Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory - In this twist to the classic Roald Dahl novel, 5 people get a chance to win the man behind the famous brand itself as their own personal servant along with his factory of wonderment.
Sex and the City Zip - The four ladies talk about a recent dry spell in the love department.

A Street Cry Named Desire - "Who's Stella?" is the tagline for this imaginative interpretation of this classic story.
Million Dollar Yearling - The story behind how a little filly with a no-name pedigree becomes the sales-topper at the Keeneland September sale.
Under The Tuscan Evening - A divorcee mare hopes a move to Italy will restart her love life. A powerful performance by Diane Lane throughout.
Pletch - Intrepid trainer Todd Pletcher is offered a yearling with an allegedly ho-hum pedigree to train. But after digging into the horse's past, he discovers things may not be what it seems...
Sunday Silence of the Lambs - A young FBI employee is sent to a prison for the criminally insane to befriend a former horse trainer with a medication-positive filled past in a desperate attempt to help stop a vet who is pushing a "killer" performance drug cocktail.

Raiders of the Lost Arch - An venerated racing historian is called upon to stop evil and discover the mysterious Arch of the Covenant, a horseshoe that could change the fate of history.
Yours, Mine and Half Ours - The story of two jockeys who have figure out how to divide their children and possessions during a bitter divorce.
Comma To The Top Gun - A hot shot bush-league jockey is promoted to the McCarron Jockey School, where he tries to overcome his brash attitude, his father's fatal past errors and his inability to use an apostrophe correctly.
Not For Love Actually - Loosely interconnected vignettes about how relationships fall apart, with the racetrack as a backdrop.

Saving the best title for last (via @shesunskippable: )

Weekend at Bernardini's- Two up-and-coming stable-hands discover that their star stallion is dead right before open house weekend at the farm! With the farm in dire financial straits, these two have to pretend their stallion is still the life of the party, with comedic results!

Go ahead and post some of your favorite titles (with plot previews if you want) in the comments section.


  1. Absolutely the best Hastag day Ever!

  2. One of my entries last night:

    I know what you did last Summer Bird.

  3. 2 hooves up on this amazing Hastag day...horses for the movie courses!! I'm sure there are many, many more combos to come. Let the fun continue!

  4. SaratogaSpa,

    That one along with "Game On Dude, Where's My Car?" (along with the First Dude variation) where the two titles I saw the most yesterday.

  5. I liked these two:

    How the Grinch Stole Kris S (@GoodOldSledge) - The Grinch (a die-hard Rachel Alexandra fan) travels to the past to steal a highly successful stallion in order to ensure his favorite filly is indisputably the greatest mare of all time.

    The Sixth Street Sense (@Zipseatthetrack) - A horse whisperer takes on the task of curing a young colt who believes that he's cursed.

    ^ Can't think of how to parody the ending, darn it.

  6. Ok, I'm going to steal some titles and rewrite them.

    Raiders of the Lost Arch- In the post apocalyptic world of 2178, a carnivorous road warrior seeks the legendary Big Mac which has been rumored to survive by 2012 biotechnology and been buried by a cult of vegetarian terrorists when they blew up the franchise worldwide on Arbor Day 2012. He isn't successful but is delighted to find a Ho Ho, a Slim Jim, and two Twinkies.

    A Street Cry named Desire-My personal lament for clean trips, particularly when a 4/1 Carol's Legacy has his field spread eagled only to jump the rail at the 1/8th pole. "STELLA! PICK FIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

    Fly So Free Willy- The liberating tale of pro athletes getting their mojo on. Starring Antonio Cromartie (4 children born in the same calendar year among his 8 kids by 6 different women), Travis Henry (11 kids by 10 women), and Mr. Willy himself, Calvin Murphy (14 children by 9 women).

    The Mucho Macho Man Who Knew Too Little- Nick Hines.

  7. "A Round Table in 80 Days," Bob Vila takes on the challenge of making a perfectly symetrical table with only a chisel and saw in less then three months time.

    Hello Chris,
    Stopped by your blog today. Slow racing day and I hadn't checked on a few equine blogs in awhile. So you are a geography buff huh? A sharp kid years ago coerced me into getting our school involved in the National Geographic Geography Bee. That was probably twenty years ago. My school stayed involved for at least a dozen year before other duties and slipping interest brought an end to our involvement. Thought you might enjoy this link.

    Hey keep up the good work!